You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Mt 5:14 (NKJV)
When you travel through the night, whether by car or by plane, you can see a city far ahead as a blaze of lights.
Jesus says his followers are like a city filled with light. This is a representation on earth of the City of God in the glorious Kingdom of God which is to come.
And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God. Her light was like a most precious stone, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal. Rev 21:10-11
What is a city like? It is a community filled with diversity, different kinds of businesses and trades, different kinds of organisations. There are government offices and private companies, big businesses and small family businesses. In a healthy city the government does not own or control businesses and big businesses do not totally dominate small businesses.
So it is with the people of Jesus. There are big churches and denominations and there are house churches and informal prayer groups. There are fellowships where believing business people meet to pray and bring their faith into their work. There are missions to the homeless and prayer groups in colleges. These are just as important as congregations which meet on Sunday.
In a secular city there are very creative people who are self employed writers, artists, architects and consultants. No company boss or government official controls their lives. Their free creativity keeps the society open to new ideas.
So it is in the Kingdom of God. CS Lewis was a great Christian writer but he did not hold a senior position in his church and he did not have a church leader telling him what to write or what not to write.
Bach and Handel wrote worship music that moved the hearts of millions. Bach was a humble church organist and music director in a local church. Handel was a commercial composer who wrote operas and music for public occasions.
God does not want all his people to be the same.
Maybe you are copying other Christians or trying to fit in with what your church, your leaders or your family expect of you.
Stop, look around and listen to God. What did HE put you on this earth to do? He will show you and your life will never be the same.